No, I'm Not Semi-Retired

And other things that bug me

A few days ago I had one of “those” days. You know, the kind that are set up to get right under your skin - one where everything bugs you.

It was a busy day. Busy with everything but illustration.

It started out with an email from the form on my website. I was very excited to see it come through, but it turned out it was a person looking for me to send them my artwork so they could make a quilt out of it. I am flattered somebody loves my artwork enough to do that, but I’m not really in the business of pattern design. And I’m pretty sure they weren’t planning on paying me for the use of the artwork, of which I am in the business.

Later that morning, I went to pick-up my new business cards and my wonderful printer gave them to me free. I was grateful and happy until he said he heard I had “semi-retired” and it was a gift to say congrats. I was really irritated because I’ve had this happen a couple of times now. Just because I’m pursuing illustration as a career move doesn’t mean I’m semi-retired. I imagine people thinking, “Aw, isn’t that cute, the old gal is going to go do some art".

The rest of the day just kept going from there. I got an email from my old co-worker looking for a password. Ha, like that’s going to happen - that information is long gone. Another person, who I haven’t spoke to in literally years, messaged me looking for a plasterer. Then a friend texted looking for info on e-bikes.

Etcetera.

Everything except somebody looking for an illustrator - everything was bugging me. I even found this visitor on my art table.

Now I don’t mind hearing from friends or getting asked questions, or even wanting to use my artwork for a quilt. But this day doubt was creeping in. What am I doing? Am I too old for this? Am I crazy for thinking this will work? I was getting glummer as the day went on and I ended up pretty blue.

But, over the next couple days, I started thinking about things a bit differently.

The real issue is I’m not focusing on the right things. Right now, I just need to draw and create. Social media, websites, even getting jobs, can wait. This is the most difficult transition I have to make.

Just like the people who categorize pursuing the arts as a retirement gig, I haven’t taken myself seriously. At least not seriously enough to prioritize drawing over making a social media post, or a website update.

Over the next few months, I’m going to change that.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great week.

Caroline